Woman reflecting on her values and actions.

How to Identify and Close Your Integrity Gaps

May 09, 2025•3 min read

Integrity gaps are the quiet cracks in your self-trust — the distance between who you say you are and who you actually show up as.

They appear whenever your thoughts, words, and actions aren’t aligned. And while everyone has them, few take the time to notice — let alone fix them.

But here’s the good news: Integrity gaps are not permanent. You can close them, one choice at a time.

Here’s how.

1. Spotting Your Integrity Gaps (Signs to Look For)

Ask Yourself:

Do I say yes when I want to say no?
Do I make promises I can’t keep (even to myself)?
Do I avoid hard conversations because they’re uncomfortable?
Do I feel disconnected from my own goals or values?

These are all signs of an integrity gap — a space between who you are and who you want to be.

Common Integrity Gaps:

Thought-Word Gap: You think one thing but say another. (Example: Complimenting someone you dislike.)
Word-Action Gap: You say you’ll do something but don’t follow through. (Example: Promising to exercise daily but skipping it.)
Thought-Action Gap: You know what’s right but avoid doing it. (Example: Avoiding a difficult but necessary conversation.)

2. The Integrity Reflection Exercise (Spotting Misalignment)

Set aside 10 minutes of quiet time. Grab a journal and ask yourself:

What do I say I value most? (e.g., honesty, respect, growth)
What recent actions have I taken that align with those values?
Where have I acted against those values?
What thoughts or fears usually cause me to act out of alignment?

Example:

If you value honesty but often avoid difficult conversations, you’ve identified an integrity gap between your values (honesty) and your actions (avoidance).

3. Closing the Gap: Reconnecting Thought, Word, and Action

Step 1: Reaffirm Your Values

Write down your top 3 values.
Define what they mean to you in one sentence each.
Example: "Respect means speaking honestly, even when it’s uncomfortable."

Step 2: Clarify Your Intentions

Set a simple intention for each value.
Example: "For honesty, I will speak my truth calmly, even if it feels awkward."

Step 3: Practice Micro-Alignments Daily

Choose one small action per day that aligns with your values.
Example: If you value courage, speak up in a meeting instead of staying silent.
Track these actions for one week.

Step 4: Apologize with Integrity (If Needed)

If your gap affected others, own it without excuses.
Example: “I promised to be there, but I didn’t show up. I apologize and will do better.”

Step 5: Set a Weekly Integrity Review

Reflect on your week: Where did I align with my values? Where did I slip?
Adjust your focus for the upcoming week.

4. Why Closing Integrity Gaps Builds Self-Trust

Every time you align your thoughts, words, and actions, you rebuild self-trust.
This self-trust creates confidence, clarity, and calm — because you no longer doubt yourself.

You become someone you can rely on. And when you trust yourself, everything else becomes easier.